Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
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im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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