guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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