is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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