He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
