you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
