how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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