We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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