Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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