pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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