if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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