My room smells like vodka and shame
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
