hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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