i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
