So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
