My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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