Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
