idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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