I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
