she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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