Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
and i looked up. we had an audience...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
