dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need water and some morals
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