he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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