Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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