we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
