btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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