it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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