You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
