Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
