just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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