So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
