I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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