Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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