i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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