I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
