Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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