I just pynch a tree in the face
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
