I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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