Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
