Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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