You just made me feel so damn special
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.