I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.