I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
