We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
