I hope mine doesn't look like that
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
