Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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