her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
