thus making me awesome and them whores
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need a beard to bite.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
