She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
