I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
