i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
