I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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