i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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