u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
