I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
