WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
