ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
