Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
