addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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