my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
