Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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