The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
