Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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