I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
