i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
