did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
