yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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