They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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