Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

god. i hate danny gokey.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.

(614): View more from Ohio

he's mormon right? lame.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(623): View more from Arizona

How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't wanna be gay for a night.

(850): View more from Florida

I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.

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(563): View more from Iowa

My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.

(1-563): View more from Iowa

I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.

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(602): View more from Arizona

why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan

(712): View more from Iowa

the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?

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