We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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