Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
