I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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